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The Self Defeating No








The Self Defeating No.

Of all the No’s that we can experience the most damming and damaging is the No we give ourself. It is in these moments we draw the white flag in the face of adversity and meekly surrender to our despairs. In truth we have quietly given up on ourself. When we make a choice to stay in our fox hole of security and avoid the unknown and all its risks, is due to the fear of failure. This fear robs us of our resilience and the courage of conviction, which slips through our fingers when most needed along with our self belief. We gravitate to this easier path where it is better to be safe than sorry than to feel the sting of criticism, the embarrassment of failure or the ridicule and judgement of those whose opinions that we value. If we are truly honest these others that offer their judgement to us for the most part live their lives in mediocrity and these subjective opinions that we hold and value become more important to us than our own.

In the absence of courage to chart our own journey we skilfully deny ourselves the pain of defeat and all its disappointments. But regretfully in the same breath we deny ourselves the opportunity to stand in the sunshine of our glories. In this self defeating mindset we elect that it is better not to do anything than draw attention to our weakness. So not trying has become a viable option for us to exercise so that we can live in denial that our lives are still satisfying never realising that along the way by our choices that we have impose upon ourself, we have wash away and diluted so much our precious inner desires and aspirations. The very things that make us unique and call us to be who we are are left by choice to be unfulfilled and so we never feel quite complete. So another life becomes unrequited never truly fulfilling its life purpose where something inside of them remains forever empty and unrealised. This is the life we consign ourselves when we surrender to our self defeating No’s.

Sadly our minds are often beaten before we start for it has been conditioned to accept its lot in life because we want to ovoid the pain of failure. Not realising it is as much in our failures as our successes that we learn and grow to become more capable and complete. A mind that avoids pain accepts mediocrity never venturing from the middle ground of safety. Never realising that the mental switch which takes a life in one direction into darkness is the same switch when flicked on can light up a life where there exists all the possibilities that will stretch our human aspiration and all our desires are there for the taking. All we need to do is believe that something is possible for us to activate us into action. It is neither important to know all the answers or find all the solutions to all the problems in advance or forecast every contingency that may go wrong before the step is taken. Simply the act of believing it is possible and by the act of taking a step forward releases us from the bondage of our doubts and uncertainties. It instantly lays out a path where all the nebulous and extraneous obstructions will simply melt away and reveal the direction that we need to take.

This mind has simply cleared the fog of indecision that had made a home within our mind to be replaced with focus which sharpens us with intent and clarity. It has started on a journey to reclaim its joy and inner self worth by the simple act of doing. When we take a step forward we are one step closer to our goals. When we procrastinate and over analyse and weigh all the merits from the downsides the right from the wrongs the benefits from the detriments and the positives from the negatives it breeds an environment within the mind to be overwhelmed and paralyse its self into inaction and atrophy. Stand still immobilised like a statue and we will be covered in life’s cobwebs. The mind that reasons but is not held back by the unknown has moved from fear to embrace their self worth and in the process has incrementally moved the mind from a self defeating No to a mindset of Yes. In this Yes they have given themselves permission to step outside of their insecurities, doubts and fears to give themselves a chance at real joy and happiness. In the process fulfil their inner calling and intrinsic purpose.

The courage to make this single step is to see what they are capable of in achieving is listening to their inner voice that seeks to honour that part of their self that fires their desires and ambitions. That carries our internal hopes that swells the heart and tingles very fibre of our being. This hope which is held within all us simply calls for us to be all we can be. And when there is no sensible reason to believe in our self after all that we have done to ourselves to rob us of the spark of belief and anticipation it still draws us to believe that anything we set our heart to achieve is possible if we simply believe. This single belief will conquer our mental mountains, overcome the improbable and move the human spirit in endure for the possibility of greatness that lies dormant in each and every one on us. This human journey is about demonstrating our imagination, inventiveness and intuition in every facet of our lives. We were born to be successful not wallow in the self made swamp of mediocrity so that our lives remain a paltry shadow forever unfulfilled. If we all asked ourselves these questions at the end of each day would our lives be different. “Did I do my best today? How could I have done better? What can I do tomorrow to better what I did today”?


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